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Tonight, when I looked at the clock and saw that it was only 7:13, I thought I should go for a quick run. Typically, I'm one to exercise the "I should" thoughts into "just did" happenings, but tonight.. instead of lacing up my running shoes, I poured myself a glass of red wine.
Sadly, this was very liberating…
5 days after Calvin's birthday party, I've hit that wall of exhaustion and have been lagging the last two days. I've been unable to get out of my own way, with the unfortunate pairing of little things not going accordingly.
My printer ink ran out, in a time I needed printer ink. I dropped a whole bowl of cereal, because I ran into the counter's corner. My mixer started streaming smoke, 1.7 minutes into plugging it is, with 13 orders to fill. I burnt my hand on the oven I couldn't remember why I even turned on. Feisty little Beatrice the Chicken got out and I stepped in dog crap while chasing after her {if I'm being honest, this really only made me lover her more}. I pushed Joey on the swing, only to get knocked in the head by her foot on the swing back.
At the very least, I've felt as if I've been having some 'three-steps-back' kind of days. The amount of energy I've had to put into willing myself to turn the 'I should's into the 'just did's, is almost too embarrassing to admit.
Tonight, I'm nestling into the fact that right around the time I feel defeated by the day's end, my reset button is usually hit. My manic nature will prevail by morning, I'll throw extra balls into the mix to be juggled, and this is when life's next adventure starts to formulate. We're having friend for the weekend and I couldn't be any more excited to bury myself in the comforts of dedicating time to the ones we love.
This morning, I woke up, telling myself tonight was an early to bed kind of night, now that it's 11:05 and I'm finally the only one awake in the house, I can feel the shifting of making the effort of 'I should's into the habits of' 'just did'… the mental lists have started and there's a certain giddy up to my hurry for night's end and tomorrow's start.
Sitting here, mindlessly list making, I've just realized the side door, to the chicken's coop, has been left open. The June bugs clicking against the opened window's screen is less than encouraging and for the 3rd night in a row, my fear of June bugs, will once again be faced as I brace myself for this unfortunately dart into the night.
Honestly, I couldn't be more thankful for that glass of wine now and I'm secretly wishing I could be ok with leaving this 'I should' as just that…. but I can't… June bugs here I come… eecks...
Enjoy your three day weekend!
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